Some of my readers have known me for years (prior to starting this blog), while others have known me since I've moved to Belgium. For the ones that have known me for quite some time, you know that I did paintings, sculptures, restoration pieces and a lot of other types of media art pieces. I absolutely loved where we were in California because I loved painting Golden Poppies, enjoying the cliff side landscapes near the ocean, or just enjoyed making random doodles and coming up with spinoff designs.
When we were in the process of moving here, I was extremely upset that I couldn't bring any of my paints. NONE of them. I have hundreds and hundreds of dollars worth of acrylic and oil paints that are in storage (and most likely unusable whenever we move back to the States) in addition to a lot of my other supplies. I managed to bring my conte' crayons, pastels and other "solid" work mediums with me, but it's upsetting to have to buy the majority of the stuff to replace what's missing. Sure, I can buy stuff on the economy here, but, it's expensive. Given, good quality art supplies are expensive as is, but with the exchange rate sucking right now (and in general), I end up having to pay more for simple things.
Despite living in a beautiful country, traveling and seeing fabulous places...I've been in this funk where I haven't really been too motivated to work on any pieces. I can honestly say that a lot of it has to do with my Mom passing away. Most of the pieces I did after her death were not along the lines of what I normally produced, which caused the majority of them to get tossed. I essentially "retired" from doing anything since I wasn't in a good place of mind. . Most of my pieces are in storage back in California, or I sold them off to friends in the process of moving since we were wanting to get rid of extra weight. I think there's only 1 of my paintings up in our current house, and it's actually in my office rather than in the hallway or the living room...I suppose I see it as good enough for my office for me to see, but no one else. As I was working in there yesterday, I pulled out my "tackle box" of supplies to see what all I still have on hand, found my easel and sketch pads...it's interesting to see what your "mood" was several years ago when you see it reflected in a scribble.
I'm getting the "itch" back that I used to have. That's a good thing, right? Some days, I feel like I can verbally express myself when it comes to how I'm feeling, while other days I feel like it's a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" kinda thing. It's easier to just keep what I have to say to myself verses actually just saying something, because, everyone..in some way.. gets themselves involved in something even though it doesn't involve them from the get go. Know what I mean? Maybe, maybe not. Stress relief, I suppose. Seems like everyone uses me as their venting well or secret keeper, which there's nothing wrong with that because I appreciate that they feel they can trust me...but, I can't seem to get that respect in return. Nothing is ever really kept "between" people, in a sense. I dunno...I'm rambling, but I don't feel like I have that sort of "reliability" with people, so I rather invest myself into my old hobby / profession verses setting myself up for additional headache and drama.
On that note, off to scribble my cares and worries away..
