Tuesday, July 5, 2011

I H8 My Body.

Oh hey, look at that...I'm blogging!

I didn't bother posting a weigh in for Saturday because the scale hadn't budged at all, yet again. I've been stuck at 235 for the last three weeks now and it's incredibly frustrating. Yes, I realize it's a plateau and I shouldn't let it get me down...but frankly, I'm allowed to feel how I feel because I effing hate my body. I do my weights, I do my cardio, I watch what I eat...blah blah blah..but yet, no progress. Yes, I've lost twenty pounds, but it seems so.."meh" in comparison to how much I want to lose.

I ended up enjoying the three day weekend between spending time with Eric out of the house, running errands, movie dates and such.....ya know, I RELAXED! Today is my "Monday" despite it obviously being Tuesday, so I figured I'd weigh myself to see what the damage was from the weekend and I got a lovely shocker:


Yup. I managed, since Saturday, to gain 5.4 pounds. AWESOME, HUNH? Talk about defeating. Thinking back, the only "bad" thing I had was a chicken sandwich..and I only considered it bad because it had bread. Never mind the fact that I've been drinking plenty of water, walking a ton and behaving...almost five and a half pounds in three days makes me depressed.


You're probably thinking, "Geeze Erika, it's probably just water weight". Probably so. Then again, my body has this knack of holding onto anything and everything as of late so it's going to take a ton of extra effort (in addition to what I'm already doing) to get this shit off of me. I'm VERY upset with myself. In a matter of three days, I managed to set myself back a month. 

Go me. 

I'm not giving up. I'm pretty much starting from Day 1 all over again..I just need to vent because this is starting to feel very disheartening despite all the hard work I'm putting in. At this rate, I won't be hitting my goal weight by the time I head home..and hell, I MIGHT hit my goal weight by this time next year. Losing a pound a week is frustrating the absolute shit out of me. 

This isn't a pity party post. I'm seriously angry with myself. 

1 comments:

Valency said...

When I did my big weight loss, I spent a FULL YEAR at the same weight, but my bodyfat went from 33% to about 20% - It was when my husband was stationed at Mildenhall, and I was able to go to the guy on base who did the bodyfat checks for the active duty military. I went once a month and it helped me SO MUCH to not get discouraged - I needed to see results somewhere or I would have given up...

Also, it made me feel like I was accountable to someone as the guy would give me praise (or flip me shit) for my results...

Don't give up! You rock!!