Wall Time

We ALL know of this social networking site. Wither you love it or hate it..we all know it as:

I've been a member since..hold on, lemme check my Timeline...ah, yes. November 14th, 2007. Although I'll admit that I didn't really start getting into the swing of it till 2009 (I was still clutching onto MySpace). Since I've been on the site, I've managed to get in contact with all sorts of people whether they're old high school friends, people I've met from when I've moved around or even new people from when we've moved here. Instead of calling to check in and catch up, Facebook makes life a little easier (and lazier) in a matter of seconds rather than racking up minutes on the phone when I wanna drop a line. 

I can't help up notice though that there are people who abuse the shit out of the site whether it's knowingly or unknowingly. Odds are, they know they're being douche-y, but that's to be determined by others since no one will obviously admit to being a jackass on a public site. Well, it's not necessarily being a douche or jackass, but sometimes people put the most RANDOM stuff out there, way too much information, or assume everyone is interested in every intimate detail in their life as tedious as it may be. 

"Check In" at Home, etc. 

I'm amazed that people even do this, especially when they list their actual HOME ADDRESS when they check-in! Great way to allow people to stalk you, especially when you have 1k+ plus "friends". Or even better, you post that you're no where near your house and people know you live on your own. Hopefully you don't have anyone on your friends list that's interested in jacking some of your stuff while you're out, bill collectors since now they know where you live, or someone who wants to just "drop in" to say "Heeeeeey" ...in the middle of the night while you're sleeping. Safety first, folks! 

Bitching CONSTANTLY

I love Debbie Downers, don't you? Always posting complaints, pessimistic things or just downright spiteful stuff can get very old. I realize we don't ALWAYS piss rainbows and sunshine, but you can't always be spewing your hatred for the world, either. There has to be SOMETHING in your life that's awesome, otherwise, why are you even here? Constant bitchers are "hidden" for a while , then I'll revive them on my News Feed to see if they've changed their sad ways...and if they haven't, they get removed.

"FML"

FML = Fuck My Life. Hmmmm...because you couldn't get your favorite Starbucks drink, you say "FML"? Or because you broke a NAIL, or your hair is frizzy, didn't have enough ingredients for a meal you "planned"...just, stop saying "FML" over trivial things. I'd understand saying it if you broke your leg and you can't work for several weeks without pay and you have bills. Hell, even if you became an amputee...but fucking your life over something small and stupid. Puh-lease. 

Cliff Hangers

Vagueness. Oh, how I loathe, thee.  When people post a status that's so ridiculously vague, it automatically prompts people to comment asking "Is everything OK?" or "What's wrong?" ...in which the original poster will say "I don't want to talk about it". Makes perfect sense, right? Then why post it in the first place if you didn't want anyone bugging you?! Someone want attention... 

Games / Applications

Even if you have a strong desire to use countless Facebook applications, avoid sending every app invite to all of your friends.  Nobody wants to get yet another Farmville, Frontierville, Castleville, and blah blah blah app requests.  The more applications you sign up for, the more clutter will appear on your homepage and bog down the News Feed. It's one thing to have fun but an entirely different matter to bug everyone with 50-100 apps invites every week. I used to be into the games (hardcore, actually) and they're MASSIVE time thief's...you never realize how much time you're wasting when you actually stop playing them to do other PRODUCTIVE things.  

Churchies.  


You love God. I get it. I understand that he's your Savior and died for your sins. I realize you go to church and feel like a better person...that's FANTASTIC. I'm not religious and I don't have anything against people who DO believe in something, to each their own. BUT. It gets annoying when I see biblical quotes multiple times every day, rants about how God is great and how we should all accept Him into our hearts. Not EVERYONE feels that way! Sorry!

"Real" Friends


This is geared more towards us military folk. We move fairly often and have to make new friends wherever we go. It sucks having to leave great friends behind, but we knew it was part of the deal when we married someone in the military. Thing is, you make new friends wherever you're at. It's a tad bit insulting after you hang out with your current friends frequently (who you claim you have a blast with) and post about how much you miss your "real friends" back at home. Am I not real? I feel real. Apparently not. 

Do Not Publicly Post Private Events

Are you are planning a private event for a select group of Facebook friends?  If so, don't publicly post the event for every single person on your friends list to see.  Make sure you keep the event private so you won't risk offending your other, uninvited friends. It's a virtual slap in the face to the people who weren't invited, but are obviously aware of the event that's taking place. Smooth move! 

SHUT YOUR MOUTH.

Although you may find your comment hilarious, if it is embarrassing to your friend, do not post it on their wall.  Remember, despite Facebook’s optional privacy settings, it is still a social network, which means many people will be able to read what you have to say whether it is positive or negative. With the new Facebook scrolling notification on the top right of your screen, it allows people to watch a conversation without ever having to go directly to your Wall to eaves drop.

"Virtual Balls" Syndrome

Oh, how I love people with "virtual balls". They will never say something to your face, but if they're on Facebook, they have an infinite amount of courage and say whatever they feel like without waiver...ESPECIALLY on your Wall for everyone to see. If you don't have the stones to say it to someone in person, then why say anything at all? You eventually gotta run into that person, so are you willing to repeat yourself for the real life response? Didn't think so. 

IT'S JUST FACEBOOK.

Sometimes, there are people who you just DON'T get along with. It happens. Not everyone meshes. If everyone got along all the time, we'd never have wars, right? Your Facebook is your "bubble" and you have the right to delete people that you don't want in your "bubble" at any time. Why keep someone on there who you don't necessarily care for? It doesn't make sense. People KNOW when they don't get along, so why force a "friendship" when there isn't one to be had? So, if you get deleted..it's for a reason. Don't talk shit or cause a big stink over it when it's an obvious "I don't consider you a friend" move, especially when you feel the same way. When people suggest that I just "hide" someone rather than "unfriend" them to avoid being rude...uhhh..isn't "faking" rather rude? Why tolerate someone who bothers me for the sake of pandering to their ego? It's JUST Facebook and it's JUST the internet. They'll survive.

Status Updates

Facebook is not Twitter, so I don't need to know every time you visit the bathroom, your baby’s feeding schedule, or what you had to eat for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. My favorite it when someone is pregnant and I get to experience their entire pregnancy every day with them because they update how far along they are (week and day) in addition to craving and hormone craziness....hourly. Or even better... football season. I get the play by play for penalties, touchdowns, scores, and everything via MULTIPLE people posting it in their statuses! Isn't that what the PROFESSIONAL sports commentators are for?

Grammar

Use it. When you get lazy and tlk lyk dis n dat 2 git ur (sigh, can't keep doing that) status across, you make my brain hurt. Don't be lazy when it comes to writing out a simple status. It's not flattering when you come across stupid. I understand that the English language can be tricky sometimes, but come on, it's not rocket science. 

Gross Pictures

Please don't post pictures of your infants shitty diaper blowout,  their vomit covered  face, YOUR vomit covered face from a night of binge drinking or anything that would be deemed as "gross" to anyone aside from yourself....your friends will appreciate it. Trust me. 

Do Not Tag Your Friends in Unflattering Photos

Do you have a picture of your friend and in that picture, he or she is looking at their worst or doing something extremely embarrassing?  While you may think it is funny, they certainly will not if you tag them and post the photo for the entire Facebook community to gawk at. Remember, paybacks a bitch! 

While on the Subject of Photos

Never under any circumstances post a picture of someone else’s kid without getting the parent’s approval.  A lot of parents are afraid of putting their kid’s picture online considering all of the perverts lurking around in the cloak of anonymity of the internet.  Ask before you post; it is a matter of consideration.


So, there ya have it. Those are the top bothersome things I can think of off the top of my head. Yes, I've violated some of these at some point or another in the span of my Facebook life, but at least I'm owning it. Most people will deny that they do any of the things that I listed.  


On that note, cheers!